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"i know people change and these things happen but i remember how it was back then" 

well yes, people change. and once they start changing, you begin to lose them. that's probably the scary thing in life, huh?

well, the scary thing about life is probably having tons of people leaving you. regardless whether isit family, friends or even your partner, it sucks to lose them. anyone. but this is life isnt it? i mean, its part and parcel of life. all we can do is to suck it up and move on, yeah? i've watched so many people enter and then leave my life its starting to become a norm. like someday i would feel nothing anymore about people leaving. i know that someday, just someday, i will be strong enough to face the world alone bc in the very end, i'll still be standing alone, handling everything the world is throwing at me. 

what shocks me the most is realising the number of people i've lost along the way. some left, to a better place while some, for someone better. and all this while, i had to carry on smiling, telling everyone "its ok, im ok" when in fact im not. im totally not ok with people leaving me. its like as if my life is just a playground to them; once they had enough fun, they just leave. without even looking back.. sometimes i rly wna let them know how much they are hurting me just by deleting me away from their life but i figured out that they probably wont care. so i chose to keep quiet. but they took advantage of my silence. just because i chose to keep quiet doesnt mean im not hurting. how can i not be hurt when they just enter my life, mess everything up and then leave? it might be easy for them, but not for me. it kills me a little each time i realised theres one lesser people by my side. im so tired. really really tired. sometimes i just wna stop trying and let everything go but i rly cant afford to lose anyone anymore. ugh, life..

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i wonder if you remember all the memories we shared, its like a long time has passed and we're back to square one. back to those times where we dont exist in each other's life. it's hard to believe that we were once so close. i never thought this would happen to us but i rly hope you'd remember everything about us and all the little things that you knew about me. and ofc, i wished our conversation will never be forgotten... 

"the saddest part is when the person who gave you the best memories becomes a memory."

what hurts the most was rly, being so damn close. after we drifted, i wonder if you ever think abt me. i wonder if you ever felt sad bc we are no longer who we used to be. you became a memory to me. you're my saddest, my most painful memory but at the same time, also my favourite memory. ofc i'd feel sad to know that we've became like this but i knew its my fault.

"sometimes you have to give up on people. not because you dont care, but because they dont."