"you know those moments when you want to breakdown and hug someone, but can't do because you don't want to show your weak side to others? the moment when you feel so alone, and every single thing is hurting? when you feel so helpless? the only thoughts in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally alone, like you are nothing in this world.. all you wanted to do was to talk to someone about how you feel, but you don't want people to pity you. and even if you really wanted to, nothing would come out right.. you don't want to laugh, smile, whine or argue, or even be stubborn or difficult, you just want to be alone and cry all you can and hope that this feeling will go away soon. well, sometimes it does, and of course sometimes it doesn't. even if it does, it will eventually still come back another day and haunt you. it never goes away, never. one day after another, and all you can do is just lie down and feel terrible. there isnt a way to explain to anybody how it feels because you yourself dont understand what's going on, you just feel this way.

there will always be those days where all you want to do is stay in bed, let the world crash over you like giant wave, and just sleep it all off. you just want to get away from everything, cancel every single plans and just stay in bed. you just don't want to talk to anybody. the emotion is so intense to the extent that you dont even want to act like you're happy. everything is intensified and you just want to be alone. you dont want people to be asking "what's wrong?" or "why are you always like this?". you just want to shut everybody out. you just lie there and hope that the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do it wait."