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i wonder if you remember all the memories we shared, its like a long time has passed and we're back to square one. back to those times where we dont exist in each other's life. it's hard to believe that we were once so close. i never thought this would happen to us but i rly hope you'd remember everything about us and all the little things that you knew about me. and ofc, i wished our conversation will never be forgotten... 

"the saddest part is when the person who gave you the best memories becomes a memory."

what hurts the most was rly, being so damn close. after we drifted, i wonder if you ever think abt me. i wonder if you ever felt sad bc we are no longer who we used to be. you became a memory to me. you're my saddest, my most painful memory but at the same time, also my favourite memory. ofc i'd feel sad to know that we've became like this but i knew its my fault.

"sometimes you have to give up on people. not because you dont care, but because they dont."

probably the first and the last group photo. till we meet again. ♡

past tense

yep, i do miss the times when you're around. Back thn, everything was so fine, so perfect. It feels like nothing would ever go wrong. But its never the same now... You left. Our story changed, as you changed. And i know, things would never be the same anymore. I tried forgetting you, i tried. I tried everything i could to forget about 'us'. But i couldnt bring myself to, bc there was so many, so much memories we both had together. And all these matters to me, it does. 

But now its different. Im a changed person.  im no longer your ghost. im better and fine without you. And yeah, im erasing you. im gna be so, so happy.

794th .

794th day... i guess im done with all the missing and cryings. 27 months. 27 months wasted on a heartless guy. how stupid can i get? ahah. i hope this feeling die off, really. im so sick of waiting and waiting, knowing you will never come back. ugh. it's just so fruastrating.

"its a constant battle. a war between forgetting and remembering."

yes yes, it is. i constantly fight this battle every night in my head. almost every night i lie in my bed wondering whether to hold on or let go. some days i told myself to let it go, some days i remind myself of how i'll probably fail. and thn i keep on thinking and thinking, thn comes the flashback, followed by the tears and heartache. but yknow, this slowly became a daily routine and you get used to it unknowingly. so you slowly get immuned to the pain and slowly it wouldnt hurt so much but it still kills you inside out when you think about these.

broken .

Remember that day when i said you have to make your decision? Remember when you said "okay"? That okay that broke us a part? Well, i wasn't expecting you to stay, but i held on to every last bit of hope. Remember how i begged you to stay? Remember the valentines, two years ago? Remember how perfect the past was? Hah, fuck it..

I miss you, a lot. It's the 790th day you left and im still stupidly stuck here. i hate how i can't move on. i hate how i always tell myself that you'll be back someday, fighting for me. i knew this wouldn't happen but yeah.... hah stupid, right?

"and the sad thing is, the boys move on faster"

yeap, i totally agreed. might not always be guys that move on faster but it happens to me all the time. i hate how everyone are able to move on faster than me. i mean, don't i mean anyt to them? why? why isit so easy for them? don't they feel the pain? ugh its so annoying when you see your ex boyf/girlf texting another girl/boy and going out with another person. :( ugh fuck. 

One&Only.

Napped and i forgot to wish him a happy birthday :p So.......Hi everybody, this is the coach that i really really really dislike. but at the same time, i also appreciate his care, concern, love, patience and everything. :) these 4 years in sengkang was enjoyable bc of him. although he pisses us off at times, we still love him. thanks to his strict training, we managed to get into the top 4 two years ago. it wasnt just because of our hardwork bc if it wasnt for him, none of our nationals dream would come true. :) all thanks to him, our dear coach. :') sometimes he really made our training boring at times bc of his "VERY STRICT" attitude but if it wasn't for his strict attitude, we wouldnt have been so disciplined. so yeah, thankyou coach. ^^ i'd really hope that you'd stay in sengkangsec if there's still chance to do so :) thankyou once again, for everything in these 4 years. :')

Happy Birthday Dearest. :')

Helloooooo ILSQ. Happy Birthday! :) Hehe. Thankyou for always being there by my side, cheering me up and making me laugh like mad. You're just like a family, a sister to me. :') Hehe. You really took up a big role in my life man. :') You're sometimes a sister, sometimes a a bestfriend and sometimes a clown. HAHAHA.
She was the most awesome friend ever. Haha. Motivating me to study, do my work and everything else. :') But.... She can be so damn fucking annoying at times that I feel like giving her one tight slap. xD
Hehe, and even though sometimes we get irritated, annoyed and disagrees with each other,  we never falls out. And that's true  friendship. :) She was the one who stayed with my through thick and thins , when no one else was there, when I couldn't find anybody that said they will be there for me. She sometimes can read my mind, and that's really shocking. She's really a great friend that one could ever wish for.
Once again, Happy 15th bitch. :') Stay happy and short alright LinXiaoGou. :')

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OhNineOhEight .

Spent my national day with awesome peoples ! :) Met Shafiq in the afternoon and went Cine. :) Went for movie , greedy ghost in the afternoon with Shafiq, Stanley, Issac, WeiHao, Hanjie, William and JiaQing :) The movie wasn't bad , average :) Hahaha, poor shafiq sat beside me. Have to tolerate my ghostly laughter and my sharp voice. After that went down to wait for weihao and friends to finish smoking and walked back to somerset . They told me going mbs, thn later say wanna go vivo, thn say wanna back punggol. So I got so pissed that I didn't talk to anyone. So I went off with Shafiq as his going to meet Mel and friends . Went mbs to find them , stanley and friends went to Vivo if I'm not wrong :) Went there and the fireworks is over :( So we walked around, go slack. Walked for so long that my leg almost broke. If Shafiq wasn't there I would have went home long ago man. Heh, mahjong @ idk whose house after that . Khup with WeiHan and lost a few bucks. Was supposed to go jy house to slack but the mahjong ended too late. So gave it a miss. :) Cabbed home at 7 plus, I think. :)

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